


Jake/Dirk Chemistry Test

by The_Cerulean_Author



Series: Promstuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chemistry, M/M, Stress, Support, motivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:39:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6494035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Cerulean_Author/pseuds/The_Cerulean_Author
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake is majorly stressing out over a chemistry test, Dirk is simultaneously helpful and supportive and a massive teasing bastard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jake/Dirk Chemistry Test

"God DAMMIT!" 

Jake English was nearly at snapping point as he got up and started stalking around the empty classroom for what felt like the millionth time.

Why was chemistry so hard to remember? More specifically, why was Jake's brain like a bloody sieve when it came to revising for a test that was looming next lesson?

"Ok...ok...calm down, Jake. Deep Breath, then try again." Jake told himself, exhaling explosively at first. A few more breaths and he was breathing significantly more calmly.

He sat back down at the desk where he'd put his textbook and began reading the chapter on electrolysis.

'At the positive electrode, negative ions lose electrons. At the negative electrode, positive ions gain electrons.' Jake read. Alright, seemed simple enough. He read the statement several times over then began pacing around the classroom.

"At the positive electrode, negative ions gain electrons..." Jake began to recite "At the negative electrode, positive ions lose electrons...At the positive electrode, negative ions gain-"

"It's the other way round, dude." a voice at the doorway made Jake stop his pacing and turn to see his boyfriend, Dirk Strider.  
"What?" Jake frowned.  
"It's the other way round." repeated Dirk, coming into the classroom and closing the door behind him.  
"So...at the negative electrode, negative ions gain electrons and vice versa?" Jake tried.

Dirk sighed and corrected him "No. At the positive electrode, negative ions lose electrons and at the negative electrode, positive ions gain electrons. You see, electrons have a negative charge so when an ion becomes negative, it's because there are more electrons than protons, or, simply, the negative charge is greater than the positive charge."

Jake sat down heavily at his desk once more, hiding his face in his hands.  
"I'm going to jolly well fail this test." he groaned.  
"No you won't." Dirk sat down next to him, a hand on Jake's shoulder.

"Yes. I will. Jade's the science lass. I'm the guy who's memorised every Shakespeare play and sonnet, can remember which British King or Queen was on the throne when and the guy who has a freaky interest in skulls, dinosaurs and other paleontological matters!" Jake rambled "Alas, un-frigging-fortuanately, I need to pass chemistry to get on the Archaeology and Paleontology course at Skaia Tech but I can't DO that because I'm an IDIOT!" Jake shouted before face-palming the desk and shaking in the aftershocks of his anger rant.

Dirk stayed sat beside him, pitying his wonderful, dorky boyfriend. He knew that Jake struggled with chemistry, knew that Jake loathed the subject, but that didn't mean Dirk didn't have his own ways and means to help Jake feel a little better about the upcoming test. He glanced at the clock in the room: 25 minutes. Plenty of time.

(Actually, they had half an hour but it would take five minutes just to calm Jake down.)

"Well," Dirk began, coaxing Jake to sit up "Now that you've got that out of your system, let's get down to business."  
"What business is that?" asked Jake, looking confused as Dirk moved to sit on the desk and situated the chemistry textbook in his lap.  
"I'm going to make you a chemistry pro." Dirk said simply.  
Jake scoffed "Not even Gamzee 'miracle-master' Makara could do that."  
"We shall see." Dirk replied, flicking to a random page in the textbook.

Jake wondered how on earth Dirk could turn him into a 'chemistry pro' in- he glanced at the clock- 26 minutes. 

"Let's start with some easy questions." Dirk said eventually "What is the first element on the periodic table?"  
"Hydrogen." Jake replied nearly instantly. He wasn't /that/ stupid.

What he didn't expect was Dirk to lean down and kiss his cheek after he gave the answer.  
"Correct. Next-"  
"Your method is kissing me?" Jake raised an eyebrow.  
"Positive reinforcement, my dear Jake." Dirk tipped his shades down and winked a golden eye while Jake rolled his forest green ones.

The next four questions were also easy. Dirk was just building Jake's confidence for the moment and also reminding Jake of what he actually did know.

"What is the centre of an atom called?"  
"A nucleus."  
*Kiss* "Correct."

"True or false? Acids have a pH level below 7."  
"True."  
*Kiss* "Correct."

"What is the main gas found in the air we breathe?"  
"Nitrogen."  
"How much?"  
"Dirk!"  
"How much." Dirk repeated.  
"Uh...75-"  
Dirk pointed upwards to signal 'More'.  
"78%?"  
Dirk kissed Jake's lips instead of his cheek for putting up with his bullshit on that one. It was still just a quick peck though.  
"Correct."

"True or false? An electron carries a positive charge"  
Jake bit his lip. Argh, he was crap with remembering stuff about electrons. But then he remembered what Dirk had told him earlier.  
"False. It carries a negative charge." he answered.  
Jake wanted the kiss to linger for that answer but Dirk was stubbornly keeping it short still.

"Alright. That was your warm up. Now let's make them a little more difficult, shall we?" It was a rhetorical question and Dirk didn't wait for Jake's answer.

"Famous New Zealand scientist Ernest Rutherford was awarded a Nobel Prize in which field?"  
"Chemistry. Duh." Jake smiled.  
Dirk didn't move. "Explain."  
"He...he discovered atoms have a nucleus?" Jake offered tentatively.  
Dirk smiled and finally gave Jake the kiss "Correct." 

"What is the chemical symbol for silver?"  
"Um..." Jake's mind paused.  
"Think Vriska." Dirk hinted.  
"Huh? Oh! Ag." chuckled Jake.  
*Kiss* "Correct."

"K is the chemical symbol for which element?"  
"Well if shouting 24/7 was an element, Karkat." Jake said cheekily.  
Dirk levelled him with a cool stare.  
"Ok ok fine. Potassium."  
*Kiss* "Correct. And good joke."  
"Why thank you, love."

"What orbits the nucleus of an atom?"  
"...Electrons?"  
"Which have?"  
"A negative charge." Jake said exasperatedly.  
*Kiss* "Correct. And see? You're learning."

"At room temperature, what is the only metal that is in liquid form?"  
Jake had no idea and looked to Dirk for a hint.  
"Think Planets. How many planets share names with metals?"  
"Mercury."  
*Kiss* "Correct."

While flicking through the book for inspiration for the next series of questions, Dirk had an idea. It took all his Strider control to maintain his poker face.

"Ok Jake, you're halfway through and doing great. These next ten questions aren't necessarily harder, but you may find yourself struggling to answer." Dirk allowed only a hint of his smirk to show.  
"That makes precisely no sense." Jake told him.

"True or false? A neutron has no electric charge."  
Jake was suspicious about how easy the question was and was about to answer when, in a heartbeat, Dirk had moved into Jake's lap and started mouthing at the skin on Jake's neck.  
"Dirk! D-Dirk!" Jake gasped.  
"That's not an answer. True or False, English." murmured Dirk in his ear.  
Jake shuddered "T-True...."  
Dirk caught his mouth in a deep kiss that he allowed to linger this time before pulling away "Correct."

"A nuclear reaction where the nucleus of an atom splits into smaller parts is known as nuclear fission or nuclear fusion?"  
Jake half expected the neck kissing this time, but the little nips and bites kept him on edge. He found it jolly difficult to think with the (very agreeable) distraction Dirk was providing.  
"Nuclear...F-Fission." he finally choked out.  
Dirk stole his remaining breath with another deep kiss "Correct."

"What is H20 more commonly known as?"  
"Water." huffed Jake.  
"Which would turn to steam if we poured it onto your blushing face." teased Dirk, peppering Jake's crimson cheeks with kisses.  
"Screw you...." muttered Jake.  
"Not at school, sweetheart." breathed Dirk.  
"Are we nearly done?" asked Jake.  
"Nope." Dirk grinned, to which Jake groaned.

"What is the third most common gas found in the air we breathe?"  
"Which I am currently struggling to..." mumbled Jake. Dirk chuckled and nuzzling Jake's jaw.  
"Argon. Ngh-!" gasped Jake as Dirk bit down on his neck.  
"How much." whispered Dirk harshly.  
"About...1...1%" Jake whined.  
"Correct." Dirk smiled against Jake's lips.

"What is the name given to substances that are initially involved in a chemical reaction?"  
Jake was not thinking coherently by this point "Which chemical reaction? I'm not psychic, love." he looked up a Dirk.  
Dirk decided to cut him some slack "Not any specific reaction, just a reaction in general. To get a reaction, one needs...." he trailed off to let Jake answer.  
"...Reactants?" he was encouraged by Dirk's nod "Reactants."  
"Correct." 

This time, when their lips came together, Jake threaded his fingers through Dirk's blonde spikes as Dirk used Jake's shoulders for balance. The kiss became heated and it seemed like it would go further.

Then they heard noises, the voices of other students, outside and remembered that they were at school instead of somewhere private. Dirk got off Jake and Jake also stood up to pace around the classroom and will the slight tightness in his shorts to go away.

"Ready for a few more?" asked Dirk.  
"Sure. Fire away." Jake told him, doing his trademark 'double pistols and a wink'.  
Dirk snorted "pff, dork."

"True or false? Bases have a pH level below 7"  
"False. Bases have a pH level of 8 to 14."  
"Correct"

"Is sodium hydroxide, NaOH, an acid or base?"  
"Uh...well, bases have OH ions in them where as acids have H ions in them so I'm going to say...base?"  
"Correct. Plus good reasoning."

"Atoms of the same chemical element that have different atomic mass are known as?"  
"Isotopes."  
"Correct."

"True or false? A proton carries a positive charge"  
"True."  
"Correct."

"One last one. What is the fourth most abundant element in the universe in terms of mass?"  
"Are you frigging kidding me?" Jake frowned.  
"Your options are Magnesium, Carbon, Cobalt and Zinc. That help? If you get it, I'll be very impressed."  
"Uh...Oh sod it. Carbon?"  
"Correct. And I'm very very impressed." smiled Dirk, tilting his shades and revealing his molten gold eyes.

Jake smiled bashfully and looked away, running a hand through his raven hair. He heard Dirk close the textbook and put it down before he felt Dirk's arms wrap around his waist from behind, his head fitting just right in the crook of Jake's neck. 

"You know..." he murmured "I still owe you kisses for those last five questions."  
"Indeed you do, knock yourself out" Jake replied.

The shrill ring of the bell pierced the air and made Jake tense up in his boyfriend's arms.

"I'm not ready, Dirk, I'm not!" he panicked, turning to Dirk.  
"Shhh..." Dirk gently papped his face "Yes, you are. You can do this, Jake. You've just proved to me that you can."  
"But Dirk those questions were easy!" argued Jake.  
"They were easy because you knew the answers. You know your stuff, Jake." Dirk smiled.

Jake opened his mouth to protest but Dirk swiftly shut him up with a searing kiss, pressing his body against Jake's and running his hands over Jake's clothed torso. Jake was helpless to do anything but drape his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders and come along for the ride.

Dirk pulled away and left Jake gasping. He adjusted Jake's clothes (which Dirk himself had messed up) and gave Jake a final prep talk.

"Just stay calm, read the questions. You got this." Dirk told him, unshielding his golden irises for a second and fixing them upon Jake's green ones.  
"You think so?" asked Jake.  
"I know so." nodded Dirk "Tell you what. Ace this test and I'll take you to Prom. Plus you come over to mine tonight to celebrate."  
"And...if I fail?"  
"Then I still take you to Prom and you still come over to mine tonight. One test does not define you as a person, stupid. Doesn't affect how much I love you either." Dirk said sincerely, kissing him on the cheek.

"Now go rock that test like I know you will." he turned and headed for the door, stopping with his hand on the doorknob "Also, you may want to shake that little 'reaction' in your shorts." he smirked before leaving.

Jake looked down and saw a bulge in his shorts.  
"Oh, you bastard, Strider. I love you to bits but crikey you're such a tease." he huffed to himself.


End file.
